Usually, at Paganicon, there are numerous seminars on topics such as witchcraft, druidism, and graveyard work, among others. One that was interesting to see was on cults and extreme beliefs.
The woman who spoke talked about how we as humans are hardwired by our DNA to want to be part of a group. We want friends and to feel included in something. She stated, “No one wakes up one day and says, Hey, today's a great day to join a cult. People don't join cults, they get enticed in, seduced in by the idea of making more money, having a better life, within the cult of Twin Flames, [for example] finding your Twin Flame.” When in reality it is a cult and people can feel foolish for spending their time and money for falling into something like that.
She provided a model of key details, called the BITE Model, that can be used to identify if an organization is a cult. Which stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.
Behavior control consists of what the cult will allow you to do. She stated this can be “The media you're watching, how you pray, how or where you sleep, how long you get to sleep, what are the indoctrinations, it can also be used as a threat.” This is defined as “the threat of assault or violence or abuse.”
Information Control consists of “isolation, which is the fear of the outside world and encourages people to stick together because they are afraid of losing their salvation by hanging around other people. Information Control can encourage spying because the cult leader's immortality is in danger. There are also all the secrets, but you have to keep hearing from us until we get there.”
Thought control consists of “thoughts that will threaten your faith. If you're having doubt, the doubt is about you, and you're wrong. This turns into black and white thinking/us vs. them. Which goes along with the paranoia and the conspiracy theories. Thought-stopping techniques, such as chanting, meditating, and praying. So, if you are having doubts, then you should chant this thing, or pray about this thing. You know, so as to stop your ability to think for yourself.”
Emotional Control “promotes guilt and anger. Fear is a huge, huge, if you leave us, you will never attain salvation, immortality, wealth. Emotional control is it narrows your range of emotions. Some of the things that we see in some groups is that people end up with a very flat affect because we've narrowed their range of emotions. So, you must always be cheerful. If you're not often happy, there's something wrong with you.”
She then switched the topic to what to do when a family member ends up joining a cult. She then stated that it is important to have boundaries but to also leave the door open. “Stay in touch as much as you can. Keep it loving and neutral. Send a birthday text stating, ‘Hey, I know it's your birthday. I love you. Hope you're doing well.’ Send an Amazon gift card at Christmas time, stating, ‘Hey, I love you, I hope you're doing well.’ Also letting them know “When things change. If things change, I'm always here for if you need help, I'm here for if you're in trouble, I'm here for you. Particularly if they are now understanding that they're being manipulated, exploited, and abused. Where can I go? That's a lot of the fear of leaving is I have nowhere to go and no one to go to. So, leave the door open.”
The truth of the matter:
Normally, when I talk about different seminars I have been to, I do not agree with what they are stating. This one, though, has points that I do agree with, for example, the BITE model for identifying a cult, and especially keeping the door open because you never know if they will come to their senses and return.
I think of the story of the prodigal son: “And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:11-24).
Sometimes it can be difficult when we see a loved one or someone we know who is going down the wrong path. The thing is not to give up on them. Always keep the door open, continue praying, because one day they will come to their senses and return home. When they do, then run, give them a hug, and celebrate. It’s just a matter of time and God working on them.